Have you ever?

Tonight I’ve been thinking a lot. More than other nights, actually. Have you ever had that thought, “Oh if I were to be stuck in a burning house with this person, this other person would choose to save them over me.” ..? I’m sure a lot of people have. I’m having that right now. Okay, so it’s probably not literal.. But it’s that type of mindset and mentality. To know that a friend likes another friend more than you for whatever reason. Something went wrong and somewhere along the line you just aren’t really that close anymore with anyone.
It’s weird ‘cause I don’t have many people to talk to any more. Every night I just lay in bed and think. I don’t talk to anyone like how I used to. I’ve grown so distant from people. And it sucks knowing that every person I used to be close with, is now closer with each other than they are with me. I miss the feeling of friendship and having someone there supporting me unconditionally. For once… I know it may seem selfish, but for once I wish I was the friend who got saved first from the fire.