I’m so jealous of groups of friends that are so close to each other. Or people who have really close/best friends. It’s really fun and inspiring to see all my friends super happy and stuff, and honestly it makes me happy too. But then at some point I sit and think, wow… I’m still trying to figure out where I belong.
Telling you now, if you have a good group of friends, keep it. Don’t take advantage of them. Don’t lose them. If you lose them, it’d be so hard to get them back.
Hm, the things I wish for…
Have you ever?
Tonight I’ve been thinking a lot. More than other nights, actually. Have you ever had that thought, “Oh if I were to be stuck in a burning house with this person, this other person would choose to save them over me.” ..? I’m sure a lot of people have. I’m having that right now. Okay, so it’s probably not literal.. But it’s that type of mindset and mentality. To know that a friend likes another friend more than you for whatever reason. Something went wrong and somewhere along the line you just aren’t really that close anymore with anyone.
It’s weird ‘cause I don’t have many people to talk to any more. Every night I just lay in bed and think. I don’t talk to anyone like how I used to. I’ve grown so distant from people. And it sucks knowing that every person I used to be close with, is now closer with each other than they are with me. I miss the feeling of friendship and having someone there supporting me unconditionally. For once… I know it may seem selfish, but for once I wish I was the friend who got saved first from the fire.
I’d rather have a loonie than a hundred pennies.
It’s not about how many friends you have. It’s about the amount of worth they bring into your life. You lose a penny, then whatever right? It’s just a penny. A dollar is 100x more in value. You could be popular as heck and have as many friends you want, but all that glory can only go so far before you start losing those “pennies”.. When you’ve lost all your pennies, now you’re broke. Point is, I’d rather have that true few, than 100 friends who probably don’t even know my middle name. They give me something to fight for, give me hope, and lead me through bad times. Popularity has nothing on true friendship.
I had a good talk with a friend today, and I realized how much I’ve really changed within the past year. I miss how I used to be, I think.
Read moreMy worst realizations happen when I want to change and be the happiest. Need to get these bad thoughts out of my head.. or, can we just rewind time so that I DON’T find out that he did that, she doesn’t like me anymore, he’d rather chill with them, she chose others over me, they’re all better friends with each other than they are with me, and they’re ashamed of me? How did all of this happen in just 4 days? I don’t want to keep thinking of all this man… And with my mentality, once these thoughts get into my head, it’s so hard for them to leave.
Whatever, hello everyone. Today I went to school and I think I fell asleep with my eyes open during pre-calculus. I guess that’s what I get for sleeping only 5.5 hours in 2 days!
I need to get it off my chest before the rest of 2012 begins. After this, I’m starting one of my new years resolutions: new outlook on life — stop stressing, just be happy.
Read moreSometimes, I really hate the fact that my friends can’t go a single day without talking about dance. But it’s their passion, I guess that’s what they need to talk about. I’ll just find something else to talk about since I don’t relate to them very much anymore.
